Their Story
Submitted by (anon, f)
My husband and I had been married for only a few years before I decided I just had to separate. Our marriage was hanging by a thread and we were both suffering from deep hurts and wounds. Our marriage was very painful, filled with selfishness and the development of adulterous relationships. In spite of all the hurts, I was so afraid to get a divorce, because of how God feels about divorce. I felt like I only had two options: to leave my husband and "go to hell," or to stay with him and suffer for the rest of my life. I was paralyzed with fear. I was unable to make a decision one way or the other. Additionally, I was confused. I kept asking myself: "I know that God loves me and does not want me to suffer, but yet he does not desire divorce for anyone either. What should I do?"
| (Thethirdchair recognizes there are cases of relationships that are simply dangerous and/or extremely unhealthy. If your significant other physically abuses you or you have sought help and he/she continually engages in adulterous relationships or destructive behaviors without seeking to change, God certainly calls for you to be free from such situations. This is especially true if there are children involved. Though God does not desire divorce, His love and concern for you trumps all situations. You can still forgive your partner without having to live as a prisoner of your own situation. We can help by being a listening ear to your unique case, and help you to see all of your options.) |
Well I could not figure it out, so I separated from my husband and decided to avoid God, because I was afraid that he was going to tell me to go back. This avoidance lasted for 8 months. One day, I had a talk with my pastor`s wife. She gently urged me to forgive my husband and ask God to help me love him. I thought to myself, "It won't work!" See, I had already prayed that God would help and teach me to love my husband. I was always expecting the answers to my prayers to be for Him to somehow magically make me excited about my husband coming home, and to give me all these nice feelings about him. But I never felt like that.
After my discussion with the the pastor`s wife, I heard the Lord saying to my heart: "My daughter, I DID answer your prayer." At that moment God gave me the most amazing revelation and understanding. He revealed to me that he has allowed all these things to happen in my life so that I CAN learn to love. I realized that unless I forgave hurts and offenses, I did not know how to love. I realized that love
is not conditional, but unconditional. At that moment a huge burden lifted off of me. I HAD FORGIVEN! Before, I hadn't been able to walk with the Lord or see the effects of my prayers because of the bitterness, unforgiveness, and pride in my own heart. I have certainly hurt God in unimaginable ways and He has always forgiven me, but there
I was, refusing to forgive my husband for his faults. How great was my pride!
God has called me to love to my husband. This touched my husband so deeply that he turned back to God as well and repented. We are in the process of moving back together. I continually thank God for giving me the best opportunity – to learn to love like He does! There is nothing more beautiful than that!
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